Rain

Rain, rain on my face....saw the sky was overcast with cumulo-nimbus clouds, and decided to go pound the sidewalk. It has indeed been a while since I had last walked or ran in the rain, and the feeling was something beyond description. The rain pelting on my face, with music blaring into my ears from my reliable iPod Shuffle....the feeling's awesome.

Felt so clear-headed thereafter. Usually I go to run cos there are issues bothering me, and I need to get them out of my mind. So with the run and rain, was rather clear-headed enough. Strangely, this is quite therapeutic......hmm, wonder if that's why spas have this 'rainshower' treatment thing.....

=)

Literary Musings

Ok, so I have completed the Half-Blood Prince, as well as the vampire hunting fiction written by the Hendees. So what's next? I was musing through my mental list of literary works I had wanted to undertake since eons ago, and realise I had veered off-course. Been focusing too much on contemporary fiction and literature, so perhaps it's high time I go back to my list.

Strangely enough, the list of literary works I had wanted to embark on (or perhaps add to my home 'library') tend to veer towards the old-school and classics. First on the list would have to be Ovid's Metamorphoses, followed by Chaucer, and thereafter literature penned by the Bronte sisters, Oscar Wilde and W Somerset Maugham. Hmmm, perhaps I should really have read English Literature at the 'A' Levels....Then there is the most widely published book of all time, in every different language and versions imaginable, the Bible.

My pastor made a remark, which was pretty thought-provoking. If I could spend one day speeding through The Order of The Phoenix, and two spaced out days speeding through The Half-Blood Prince, it'd be good if I could devote that same tenacity and 'hunger' to plough through the Word of God. Admittedly, as much as I can endeavour to do so (and even enlist the help of those daily devotionals with specific chapters of the Bible to read through so it can be done in one year), I run out of steam even before one week is up. So I think I should also embark on my Bible readings devoutly.

That aside, I think I have more or less set the pace for my list of "to-complete must reads" for the time being. Aside from the classics listed above, I also fully intend to immerse myself in my pursuit of Van Helsing, Garfield and Asterix comics. I have a feeling I will end up buying the Van Helsing and Asterix ones. Poor piggy bank.....will have to bust it soon so I can 'feed' my literary wants.

Demented and Potty

For those of you in the know, the heading is a pun taken from the Harry Potter books. Yes, I have succumbed to the 'heady' buzz surrounding the series, and have been an avid fan ever since. Imagine, I actually went through the first 4 books 23 times each, cos I was so hooked by the pen of J K Rowling. Got my copy of the Half-Blood Prince yesterday (its launch date). So I holed myself up over this weekend and cancelled most social activities to hole myself up at home to finish reading the book. Ahh, the lengths I would go to.....

But strangely enough, as I devoured the penultimate book in the series, I found myself starting to lose the enthusiasm and fervour I had for the entire series. Perhaps it's just me, but the heady mix of magic, fantasy (witchcraft) and with some 'hidden' values like familial ties, loyalty and friendship were what drawn me to it (for the first 3 books at least - loved Quidditch). However, from the 4th book onwards, as it veered more towards the darker side of things and issues, the books became 'heavier'. The Half-Blood Prince was depressing, and in all honesty, somehow the underlying current of good triumphing over evil was no longer there. Yeah, Harry Potter has to grow older, and deal with issues such as teenage angst and loves (that was pretty interesting), but it got progressively darker. Somehow, I find myself at a stage where I am no longer under its spell, and I would like to read the final book just so I can complete the series, and not with so much fervour anymore. It's been too many years....

On another note, this weekend had indeed been one with quite a bit of revelations for me. I was most reluctant to turn up for prayer meeting, as I had felt that I went there merely to fall in line with the requirements, and did not really have the heart to do so. Albeit I turned up with a somewhat grudging heart (I could think of other things I would like to do then - continuing to plough through the Half-Blood Prince being one of them), He really dealt with me during the prayer meeting. Subsequently, when I went for a Bible class today, He also dealt with me there when I had least expected it. I really need to process this through, as I figured I had become so reliant on my 'head' after I had embarked on my career at the bank I was in, to the extent that I had become so rational and had subdued the compassionate and relational aspect of things.

Oh well....

Same Old Brand New (Us???)

Since I've tendered my resignation, I've blissfully stayed at home and been busy catching up on movies I'd previously missed or refused to pay the exorbitant ticket prices to watch at the local cinemas. Thank goodness for DVDs and VCDs...

Went on a whirl of big-time socialising to catch up and meet up with long-time friends, people whom I (sadly enough to admit but it's true) have not had the time to meet up with as much as I'd like to due to the constraints and demands of work. Now that I am free from the shackles of such long hours (at least for the time being), I've packed my days to the brim. Varsity friends, and even friends from days of yore (yeah, it's the very first line of the school song from my beloved alma mater), it was certainly good to have caught up with them. Chip away at the veneer of 'professionalism' each of us had grown to adopt (in part due to the competition and pressures of work), and the same old riotous natures will surface. It had been a hoot, to say the least. These groups of people are the very ones I have spent the most bit of my student days 'rioting' and 'crapping' with. It was heartening to know the friendships forged have remained steadfast as before, perhaps slightly bogged down by the demands and constraints of work. Beneath it all, however, the same 'gungho spirit' remain. Shared jokes and pranks played on one another....truly good to reminisce over those times. Man, I've known them for almost a decade (my JC pals) and half a decade (varsity friends)....how time flies.

Of course, some of us had been more 'prosperous' than others, and there were those who have transmogrified to become immaculately coiffured and made up, as compared to the 'sloppy' chilled-out student culture then......the changes have been none too subtle. What I really dig is how 'barriers' come crashing down when old friends meet....you revert to the same wacky person you were, which is a side that would not have seen the light of day in our respective workplaces.

On another note, I am totally gearing up to put a screeching halt to all social events from Saturday 16 July onwards for as many days as I need (perhaps just 2) for me to devour the latest Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. Yes, I know, I have been sucked into the commercialism behind it, and have made my pre-orders (3 copies - the others being for my younger cousins). There was a feature to whet our appetitite in the local papers today. Hmmm, think I have never even been so excited about convocation or anything else. Harry Potter just triggers that off in me. Oh, and another series of vampire hunting fiction by J.C. and Barb Hendee is also on my recommended list of must-reads. Yes, you've guessed it. Apart from socialising, catching up on DVDs and shows (no lengthy OTT Korean melodramatic soaps for me), I've also been devouring literature. Hmmm, this hobby of buying books needs to be curtailed (cannot help it, the local libraries don't have extra copies).

Till the next Harry Potter book is over......hold your breath....

Anchor, Berth, Harbour & Shelter

Hmmm, B remarked recently that I've not been updating my blog, and it hit me that it's indeed been a while since I last made an entry.

So much has happened in the span of 2 months. Once again, I find myself at another crossroads in my life, seemingly at a juncture that is so familiar and yet so different.

1.5 years ago, I was barely fresh out of university, and had quitted my first job cos I came to a conclusion that trade financing was not my cup of tea. Thereafter, I plunged headlong into a career in investment banking......it was here that I found myself being exposed to a lot of learning experiences, and it was also here that I was given so many opportunities for which I am truly grateful for.

On the flip side, I have been surviving on muscle relaxants, painkillers and sleeping pills for 2 -3 months already, and it was at this point I realised I needed to bite the bullet, and do something about it. Job stress, wrong role fit etc......but my previous role in the investment bank had, in a way, triggered off something that I cannot quite seem to contain. My health was spiralling, so I decided to tender my resignation and take a step back to look at things in perspective.

It was one decision that was very painful for me, cos all this while I had been so 'proud' of the fact that I was working in an investment bank. But when it came to the crunch, I had to do it, and these past 2 weeks had been a roller-coaster.

Just as I had left the bank, a few of my other good friends joined. My former boss had told me that a job is just a job, and that anytime I want to go back, I could just touch base with her. Truly thankful for such nice bosses, indeed. Coincidentally, there were quite a few other people I know who had tendered their resignations from their respective organisations, so there was 'company'. So I find myself adrift in the turbulent seas again, tossing about in the waves like a buoy, trying to ascertain which direction I should head in.

There is also this other issue I was grappling with.......K was really understanding about it, and it was him who had inspired this entry's title, cos he had prayed for me using them. I have been a tad rebellious, and that streak in me surfaced again recently. J has also decided to leave the church we are in.....

Hmmm, truly turbulent times indeed. Even as I 'recuperate' and try to ascertain my career direction, there were other issues I had to deal with. No wonder half the time, my face had the 'pissed-off' look. There were many friends in church who were concerned, and asked after me. This outpouring of concern is something I truly appreciate, and though I have not said so to them, really appreciate and thankful for them (you know who you are). Bobbing along in the currents of life, and trying to live it without being snowed under...yet at the same time, I also acknowledge that He is the highest, and His plans for me will always be for the best, though I may not understand why and how at that juncture.......like A had told me, chin up. Indeed I will, cos even A's encouragement was something like a ray of sunshine amidst a field of gloom.