Revelations

This week, the Lord has been giving me quite a fair bit of revelations. On Monday, the few of us who are Christians in the department got together with my big boss (who happens to be a strong and devout Christian herself) and we shared freely. The intention was to have in place some form of office ministry. Just a few weeks back, the Lord impressed upon me during service that it's high time my other colleagues (who happen also to be my friends from the same Youth Net in my church) and I try to kickstart an office fellowship. Talked to Q and apparently he felt the same thing. Then on Friday, we visited other people during lunch - fellow Christians who are experienced in setting up office fellowship ministries, and the sharing was fruitful, and gave plenty of food for thought.

For the longest time ever, I did wonder why God placed me in banks. Back at the foreign investment bank I started my career in, I felt rather 'alone' in that I seemed to stick out like a sore thumb, since there weren't that many Christian colleagues around. I was pretty certain that God placed me in my current bank for a reason, and now these are all sinking into place.

On Thursday, while eating lunch and reading the Book of Proverbs (Proverbs 28), the intern I was supposed to mentor, K, came over and asked me about Christianity. I was totally ill-prepared for this, so decided to share with him about my walk, and how I finally came to acknowledge and accept Him. Three-quarter through my sharing, when it came to praying in tongues, I felt a tad inadequate, and wanted to call on 'reinforcements' in the form of my church mates and colleagues, Q and A. Q was not in the immediate vicinity, and A didn't respond as she was thought I had mentioned her in passing. So it was all left to me. K did remark that they were not around, and he seemed totally receptive to want to find out more.

I did the best I could, which wasn't too bad, and shared with him what 'tongues' entailed and the whole gamut of it all. Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I had thought it to be. When I talked to A after the whole episode, she told me she was praying for us, K and I, while I was sharing.

Now that I reflect, truly it's all by His grace that I was given a chance to share with K, and that it didn't turn out to be negative. I pretty much left it open, as in I did not want to come across as being too pushy, and scare him off by being overly enthusiastic and invite him to church immediately. All in His timing.....and even if I was not the one who finally brought K to accept Him, I am comforted in that at least I know I did play a small part, no matter how tiny that may have been.

An even bigger revelation was that I was placed here for a reason, and that until I distinctly hear Him telling me to move on, I should stick around. The pursuit of material items can cause us to be myopic and neglect the bigger purpose. I also realise that things are starting to 'click' finally, so I should focus on that, and not feed the hunger to move because I feel I can command more pay, but at the risk of longer hours etc.

2007 - New Year, New Cheer, New Victory

I'll be the first to admit, albeit sheepishly, that the new year came and went, and along with it, one of my new year resolutions. As much as I had resolved to 'curb' my temper, I had a 'spectacular' outburst in office sometime last week, all simply because I 'jumped' too fast. That over and done with, some wise person was really right, in that most of the time, it's how one reacts to a situation that determines how the said situation will turn out. I shall strive to remain controlled in all situations, so as to not 'stoke' my temper.

Among the resolutions is also one in which I want to be a better steward of His resources that He has blessed me with, and to be more grounded in my walk. Where my spiritual walk is concerned, I realised the impact yesterday during church service.....

As usual, it was a Sunday morning - the very first one for 2007. So I had moved up with my boys to the P4 Sunday school classes, which are structured along homogeneous lines, with male leaders looking after boys, and female leaders looking after girls. We were supposed to introduce ourselves to the kids, and since I was taking the whole group I had last year, I didn't specifically see a need to have to beat around the bush at introduction. So I just went in front to the stage, said my name....and went like, "Ok, all my boys....you know who you are, please stand up while I call out your names."

What really warmed the heart was the moment I said 'please stand up', the entire lot of them stood up together in unison, with these huge grins across their faces. I was counting them (had 4 new ones, one of whom I had specifically requested for) and realised I had 1 boy missing. So I was like, er where's N? And the boy jumped up for joy and ran forward. Apparently, he was concerned that he would not be in my group, and dared not come out with the others.......

Some time later, it was during Youth Service that I was praying and responding to a worship song, that I felt totally humbled by the whole experience and it really touched me. The part when they all stood up together collectively with these grins on their faces (ok cheeky or otherwise, it does not matter) was an affirmation of sorts to me - that my efforts in their lives mean something, and they know I care about each of them. The idea of them being my 'spiritual sons' had never been fully cemented until yesterday, and the responsibility to watch over the spiritual walk of 11 boys aged 10 is huge, and it's such a blessing.

The humbling process was when I realised, 1 year ago, I would never have imagined that I would find myself in such a position, that I can actually serve the boys and love them and that I have established a rapport with them. So now the onus is on me, to get my act together, and ensure my spiritual walk is steadfast, seeing as it is that it is no small honour. Totally humbled and awed by it.