Phone(s)

Whoa, long Christmas weekend celebrating the miracle of the birth of our Lord......had been looking forward to a long weekend for a while, so this was welcomed.

Thursday 22nd Dec 05: *Mutter mutter*......why on earth do I always leave my present buying to the last minute? I was happily working on my report in the office, and realised, to my horror, I had forgotten to get presents for my colleagues who had been talking about exchanging gifts. So I had to rush down to the shop "The Natural Source" at Raffles Exchange, and quickly snapped up three gifts. Breathed an audible sigh of relief that it's over......the shop was packed to the brim.

Friday 23rd Dec 05: Exchanged gifts with my colleagues....and real thankful that the gifts I had 'insouciantly' picked out for them were to their tastes. *Whew*. Then realised the division I am seconded to was holding some Christmas luncheon. Considering I barely know anybody there, I decided to up it and scoot off the moment the buffet luncheon started. Went up to my department and waited for my colleagues to have lunch with my 'gang'. A colleague then asked me if I had gotten anything for my immediate boss, and I was like, *oops*. So we roped in another colleague and went to do some more super last minute shopping. Thank God we did too, cos my boss had actually prepared presents for us. Super nice of her. Thank God for such a good boss...really counting my blessings. Best piece of news, she told me my PC will be replaced with a new set next year, and I can look forward to getting it by end Jan. Apparently, she knew the problems I was facing with that conked-up machine I was using, and she had raised the issue to my big big boss, who was agreeable to sign off on the requisition. Hmm, this is turning out to be quite a good X'mas.

Sat 24th Dec 05: Went to grandparents' place for dinner. Prior to that, had to send my newly bought Nokia 6111 for servicing, cos it decided to conk up on me. I had initially planned to stay at my grandparents' for just a short while, just to 'show face', and head off for some partying. But somehow, I stayed till the end and had a good time catching up with my cousins and aunts and uncles. Only reached home at 12.30 am....hoo boy, will I ever pay the price on Christmas morning.

Sun 25th Dec 05: Alarm clock beeped at 6.30 am. Dragged my bleary self out of bed, and headed to church at.....EXPO!!! Was like, half asleep the whole time....reached EXPO and psyched myself up for the Kids Ministry....they were playing games and all. Imagine, I actually managed to doze off half-way through. Best bit, they let me be. Ha ha. So thereafter, it was a so-so wait till it's time for Youth Service. Was quite ok during service....after service, however, went 'splat' spectacularly. Totally zapped out....the can of Coke I guzzled did its magic for only that wee while. I actually turned down a chance to have dinner with my friends, deciding instead that I would head home for an early rest.

Mon 26th Dec 05: Woke up, decided it was a nice day and was thinking of collecting the phone, so I can sell it off and get another less problematic model. But the spare parts required were not ready, and Nokia Care Centre did not deign to ring me to inform me. Luckily I had the foresight to ring them up before I had made a wasted trip down. So decided to join my friends at ECP. Cycled a short while, got super irked cos the standby phone I was using was also cranking up on me, so decided to scoot to go get my replacement phone. Finally got a functioning phone, so now charging it. Shucks man, my fiasco with phones is super embarrassing. Somehow my friends think I change phones quite frequently, but it's really not my fault if the phones decide to crank up on me after 1 year.....I take good care of my stuff, but so there.

Oh well, tomorrow's the start of another work week. Looking to usher in 2006. Hopefully, things turn out well in the year ahead. Oh yeah, wedding dinner to attend on 30 Dec 05. Anybody know the going rate for a banquet dinner at Goodwood Park?

Riotous hoot

Given the state of ho-humness I have been in recently, I thought I'd only post an entry in my blog when inspiration hits. And it did, today of all days. On a Wednesday night half way through a toiling week. How so?

I was dragging my feet home, and en route, went to the newstand near my office to grab a copy of the weekly entertainment rag, 8 Days. I was just flipping through the contents absent-mindedly, and came across this commentary. Why absent-minded? Trust me, you would too if you had been staring at acts, statutes and regulations the whole darn day trying to get work done on a broken-down PC that should have been made redundant eons ago. Somehow it irks me a lot although I tell myself not to sweat the small stuff. I find my work performance being compromised by that lousy machine, and as much as my boss has been telling me mine will be changed, I don't see it happening anytime soon. I find it ludicrous that a bank cannot afford to have an ancient PC system junked out and replaced with a new one...the amount of red tape involved...budgeting for 2006 blah blah....yah dah whatever...oops sorry I digressed.

Anyway, there is this columnist who chronicles his life. He paints a stark and vivid picture of his room-mates, parents and siblings and assorted number of friends. I wonder if these people are real, as in are they caricatures and exaggerated profiles of people in real life? They have such larger-than-life personalities, and seem to spout witty lines as if they do it the whole time. I mean I have friends who are dramatic and flamboyant, but they are not like that every day.....

Take this week's issue, for example. It talked about a local celebrity and whether his gym-toned body had been air-brushed. Peppered in between the article were snippets of conversations the columnist had with a friend (who veers towards an alternative orientation, partner-wise) and his room-mates. They say the darnedest things, and it was such a hoot reading the article. Fine, it's not exactly material that's thought-provoking or extols on some deep philosophical line of thought. But the light hilarity and scathing remarks were downright funny. The columnist totally rocks man....

Great Expectations

For most people, as the year draws to a close, it is usually a whirl of revelry and celebration to herald in a new year of new tidings etc. It used to be this way for me too, when I was still fresh out of junior college. All those Christmas and year-end parties at friends' places, and turning up in a big bunch at countdown parties.....it sure was a riot.

However, as the years go by, somehow I tend to be rather detached about it all. Initially, I thought it was the usual jadedness - the 'been-there-done-that' syndrome. However, in the past 2 years, it has started to border on melancholy and depression. Lest I start to sound like a manic depressive, I hasten to add that I am not. My church friends (those who know me well, you know who you are....B, K, P, L, J etc) can attest to the fact that I am rather extroverted. There are times when I need to be alone to recharge and all, but by and large, I am generally rather outgoing and extroverted. As December approaches and spills over to January, I become a totally different person altogether. I start to become more withdrawn, and 'isolate' myself more and more. Sometimes, by being introspective, it is a good thing. This, however, is a different cup of tea altogether.

In recent years, around this period, I have the strongest urge to buy an air ticket, pack my bags and high-tail out of here....back to Melbourne. And it has begun to dawn on me why I am feeling so 'anti-social'. Around this period is also when my extended family starts to have gatherings - Christmas parties, Lunar New Year celebrations etc. Although this has been the tradition as far as I can recall in all my 20++ years, I have this urge to want to 'fly the coop', so as to speak. As callous and ungrateful as it sounds, I find myself being stifled and suffocated by my 'loving' extended family. Although they never verbalise it, but there is always this load of 'expectations' hanging unsaid in the air. Just simply because yours truly have the luck to be the eldest son and grandson and be super doted and favoured (fawned if you so choose) upon by doting grandparents and aunts and uncles, somehow this 'childhood favouritism' is spilling over into adulthood. There are unsaid stuff that somehow, one way or another, is expected from me. And I find that as my grandparents age, they seem to 'crave' attention even more from their grandkids.....so this has come full circle.

I get frustrated at having to pander to such things, and have pointed this out once too often to my parents. But they, seemingly of a different mindset and obviously a different generation, cannot do much also. And therein lies the issue in why I find a need for a 'time-out' and just wanting to go 'splat'. That's also why I like Melbourne so much - it is the place that truly afforded me with the independence and liberty I desire, away from the shackles of this 'extended love'. As neurotic and selfish as it sounds, I know I had a great childhood cos I am rather close to my cousins (helped in no small part by the fact that our parents always bring us down to our grandparents' place during the weekends) but now I want my space.....to do my own things, as and when I choose and please, without having to meet the 'obligations' and duties so 'expected'. Coupled with the fact that most of my extended family are pre-believers, this is no easy ride. More often than not, they are wont to think I have been brought 'astray' by my religious beliefs.

Does this mean I am not cut out to be a family man? A large part of me does want to do the 'routine' - find my special someone and settle down and all. Trust me, that is a huge 'to-do' item. At the same time, I do find myself wondering if my current 'I-Want-To-Break-Free' mindset might be a major deterrent.

But hey, at least I have now identified the reason why I have been going around like a bear with a sore head lately. So now, it's high time to ask for a change in my contrite heart......to seek Him more, and hear and discern what He wants me to learn from this......

'Pop' goes the weasel

A few things to update, so here goes.......

Decided to really commit myself to the ministry He has called me to serve in, the kids' ministry in my church. It's really quite something to see the kids worship and pray, and their innocence and general obedience makes you go 'aww' (being mushy). This really reminds me of the Bible passage wherein Jesus was lavished with a warm welcome by the kids. Kids, in their innocence, probably see Him for who He is, and that is something that cynical adults like me should bear in mind.

Two of my church friends flew to Houston to work (for about 2 years or so). In the build-up to that, I was busy haranguing people for photos and stuff they would like to contribute so that a scrapbook could be done for them to chronicle the times we had with them and all. Finally handed over the scrapbook to them with all our contributions, and Z broke down. I am so glad they liked it....could tell they were rather touched by it.

On another note, I am currently nursing a bad bout of flu. I knew it was a 'pending' case of flu, as the symptoms had been 'appearing' and ebbing for a while. It irritated me so much to the extent that I was like, 'come on, hit me with your best shot. Get it over and done with'. But alas nothing happened for a while, until after I had handed over the scrapbook. Then it hit me with the kind of brute strength that keeled me over (exaggerating). So anyway, I was out of action from work for 2 days, and today the kindly doctor offered to give me another day's MC. Me being the conscientious workaholic that I am, I turned it down as I have already piles of items to clear and it's stacking up.

So now, it's a case of being fatigued......by the bout of illness and the subsequent medication I have to pop, as well as, spiritually. Kinda feels like I've dried up my spiritual well of reserves, and think it's high time I seek a fresh anointing and top it up again. For the past few weeks, I have been soldiering on cos there were events, one after another, that I felt I had to clear. Finally, I can go 'splat'. There are quite a few issues I need to grapple with, and it all looks super overwhelming at this point in time. Nonetheless, what little mustard seed of faith I have left in me tells me I can weather this as He is with me. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to know another Christian brother in the work place. For a moment, I thought the bank I am currently in is swamped with mature Christians, and there are not that many around my age range (well, on the wrong side of 20s anyway). I have to say, though, his mindset and values are rather 'radical' in some ways. We were chatting (over a short break) and we shared some general stuff, and I was pretty intrigued to hear his views, which I am pretty sure would have raised some eyebrows at my church. But nonetheless, I am thankful, for the moment, to have another believing friend in the workplace - makes for a less lonely Christian walk, et tu?