Choices....

First off, the two books I ordered online at Amazon.com have finally arrived. This was my re-order since the first order presumably got lost in the delivery somewhere, seeing as it is that it did not reach me by the estimated delivery date. So I went to Amazon.com and registered my feedback, and they promptly shipped another order to me. Though I daresay I was furious to see my credit card bill and noted that there were 2 credits for the same amount. Sent an e-mail to Amazon.com querying the hows and whys. However, the package arrived today safely and I got an e-mail notifying that the refund for the lost order had been made. So that restored my faith in Amazon.com somewhat. Will order online again if the books I want are not in Singapore yet. Yeah, the 2 books I ordered are of the vampire fiction genre....the Noble Dead / Dhampir series (book IV) and a more comical one. Hee....

On another note, after having come to a decision, I have embarked on a bit of preliminary field intelligence. And I'm most glad to say I've short-listed a few Methodist churches I would like to visit, and if it's where He calls me to, probably sink my roots in. Faith Methodist cos it's the church tied to ACJC from days of yore, Living Waters Methodist at ACS (I) cos a long-time friend goes there, Bt Panjang Methodist cos it's near my home and Foo Chow Methodist cos one of my colleague goes there. So the moment I give 'notice', I can start visiting to see which one is more suitable for me. Another colleague invited me to visit his church too......Jubilee Presbyterian. Hmm, seems like I am choosing to go visit a denominational church, rather than a non-denominational one.......

Having said that, I have this feeling I find quite hard to describe. It's like, finally I am doing something rather than sitting there and getting frustrated by the lack of a spiritual breakthrough. I am not saying this is a definite thing, i.e. that I will really leave my current church. I still have to see where He leads me. But at the very least, I am glad I am finally doing something about it. Like they say, only I am responsible for my own spiritual walk and growth....so time to do something.

My mother did ask me, how about my friends here? She knows about B and K, and I was like, hmm. I cannot possibly expect my 2 good friends to follow along, so it's a 'do-it-alone' venture. Let's see where this leads to then....a bit psyched up and revved up for the scouting and enhanced due diligence to be done.

Faith....to go into RESET mode

Chinese New Year came and went....and I'm starting to realise it's nothing spectacular. Cannot quite place it, but somehow I felt a certain amount of detachment. In fact, I've been feeling so for a long time.

Lately, I've been going through the motions of life like clockwork, almost without thinking. And I know for a fact that I've kinda depleted my energy reserves. Seems to me that no matter how much I chill out at home, catching up on my DVDs or get my nightly dose of sleep, I can never be fully rested. Coupled with the fact that every Sunday, I feel totally zapped after Kids Ministry that I tend to either (a) fall asleep during church service, or (b) I'd head back home pronto after Kids Ministry, and to quote K, AWOL from Youth Service. I do wonder why and how.....somehow there doesn't seem to be any breakthroughs.

My cell leader (K) has prayed for me, and told me to "Reset". And I know there are some things I need to get right with Him. One reason why I've held on so 'tenaciously' to the kids ministry and not leave it yet is because I know that's the ministry I am supposed to serve in, and I want to do so. Another reason is cos I know the moment I leave the kids ministry, there's a high chance I will leave my current church. Once the commitment is taken away, I'll be free to explore other churches, and perhaps scout for a new spiritual home.

As would be evident by now, my spiritual walk has been flat. In fact, it has been so for a while, since sometime last July / August. The community in my current church means a lot to me, and perhaps that's the main reason why I am still hanging around. But honestly, there comes a point in time when even the community can only do so much......

Anyway, I was on my way home from my office just now, and for some inexplicable reason, decided to alight at an MRT station that's beside this church that is 'connected' with my dear alma mater. I just walked in, hoping that I could go to the main church hall to pray, and was wandering around (thank God it was opened and there were a few people around), until I came to this office thingy. I don't know what made me so bold, but I knocked on the door, introduced myself and asked the church ministry staff member if I could check in with him on some queries. He was obliging, and answered them patiently. To a certain extent, he understood my concerns, coming as he did from a non-denominational Charismatic church like me. So he invited me to visit the services, and even gave me his name card.

Somehow, I have decided that if I want to explore going to another church, it'll be a Methodist church this time. Why? I figured I ought to be quite comfortable with it, since I was from the one and only Methodist junior college in Singapore, and the style and all should be the same. In addition, since the Methodist church I ventured into was 'tied' to my junior college, all the better. So Methodist churches are a key consideration, and my uncle who's a Presbyterian, advised me to check out a Methodist church. I am pretty certain I will give my 'notice' to the pastors at my current church for the kids ministry. Then this will afford me with the time and chance to go church exploring. If anything, I even enlisted the help of my JC classmate.

Let's see where this takes me..........