Faith....to go into RESET mode
Chinese New Year came and went....and I'm starting to realise it's nothing spectacular. Cannot quite place it, but somehow I felt a certain amount of detachment. In fact, I've been feeling so for a long time.
Lately, I've been going through the motions of life like clockwork, almost without thinking. And I know for a fact that I've kinda depleted my energy reserves. Seems to me that no matter how much I chill out at home, catching up on my DVDs or get my nightly dose of sleep, I can never be fully rested. Coupled with the fact that every Sunday, I feel totally zapped after Kids Ministry that I tend to either (a) fall asleep during church service, or (b) I'd head back home pronto after Kids Ministry, and to quote K, AWOL from Youth Service. I do wonder why and how.....somehow there doesn't seem to be any breakthroughs.
My cell leader (K) has prayed for me, and told me to "Reset". And I know there are some things I need to get right with Him. One reason why I've held on so 'tenaciously' to the kids ministry and not leave it yet is because I know that's the ministry I am supposed to serve in, and I want to do so. Another reason is cos I know the moment I leave the kids ministry, there's a high chance I will leave my current church. Once the commitment is taken away, I'll be free to explore other churches, and perhaps scout for a new spiritual home.
As would be evident by now, my spiritual walk has been flat. In fact, it has been so for a while, since sometime last July / August. The community in my current church means a lot to me, and perhaps that's the main reason why I am still hanging around. But honestly, there comes a point in time when even the community can only do so much......
Anyway, I was on my way home from my office just now, and for some inexplicable reason, decided to alight at an MRT station that's beside this church that is 'connected' with my dear alma mater. I just walked in, hoping that I could go to the main church hall to pray, and was wandering around (thank God it was opened and there were a few people around), until I came to this office thingy. I don't know what made me so bold, but I knocked on the door, introduced myself and asked the church ministry staff member if I could check in with him on some queries. He was obliging, and answered them patiently. To a certain extent, he understood my concerns, coming as he did from a non-denominational Charismatic church like me. So he invited me to visit the services, and even gave me his name card.
Somehow, I have decided that if I want to explore going to another church, it'll be a Methodist church this time. Why? I figured I ought to be quite comfortable with it, since I was from the one and only Methodist junior college in Singapore, and the style and all should be the same. In addition, since the Methodist church I ventured into was 'tied' to my junior college, all the better. So Methodist churches are a key consideration, and my uncle who's a Presbyterian, advised me to check out a Methodist church. I am pretty certain I will give my 'notice' to the pastors at my current church for the kids ministry. Then this will afford me with the time and chance to go church exploring. If anything, I even enlisted the help of my JC classmate.
Let's see where this takes me..........
Lately, I've been going through the motions of life like clockwork, almost without thinking. And I know for a fact that I've kinda depleted my energy reserves. Seems to me that no matter how much I chill out at home, catching up on my DVDs or get my nightly dose of sleep, I can never be fully rested. Coupled with the fact that every Sunday, I feel totally zapped after Kids Ministry that I tend to either (a) fall asleep during church service, or (b) I'd head back home pronto after Kids Ministry, and to quote K, AWOL from Youth Service. I do wonder why and how.....somehow there doesn't seem to be any breakthroughs.
My cell leader (K) has prayed for me, and told me to "Reset". And I know there are some things I need to get right with Him. One reason why I've held on so 'tenaciously' to the kids ministry and not leave it yet is because I know that's the ministry I am supposed to serve in, and I want to do so. Another reason is cos I know the moment I leave the kids ministry, there's a high chance I will leave my current church. Once the commitment is taken away, I'll be free to explore other churches, and perhaps scout for a new spiritual home.
As would be evident by now, my spiritual walk has been flat. In fact, it has been so for a while, since sometime last July / August. The community in my current church means a lot to me, and perhaps that's the main reason why I am still hanging around. But honestly, there comes a point in time when even the community can only do so much......
Anyway, I was on my way home from my office just now, and for some inexplicable reason, decided to alight at an MRT station that's beside this church that is 'connected' with my dear alma mater. I just walked in, hoping that I could go to the main church hall to pray, and was wandering around (thank God it was opened and there were a few people around), until I came to this office thingy. I don't know what made me so bold, but I knocked on the door, introduced myself and asked the church ministry staff member if I could check in with him on some queries. He was obliging, and answered them patiently. To a certain extent, he understood my concerns, coming as he did from a non-denominational Charismatic church like me. So he invited me to visit the services, and even gave me his name card.
Somehow, I have decided that if I want to explore going to another church, it'll be a Methodist church this time. Why? I figured I ought to be quite comfortable with it, since I was from the one and only Methodist junior college in Singapore, and the style and all should be the same. In addition, since the Methodist church I ventured into was 'tied' to my junior college, all the better. So Methodist churches are a key consideration, and my uncle who's a Presbyterian, advised me to check out a Methodist church. I am pretty certain I will give my 'notice' to the pastors at my current church for the kids ministry. Then this will afford me with the time and chance to go church exploring. If anything, I even enlisted the help of my JC classmate.
Let's see where this takes me..........
posted by DeRi@c | 9:37 pm
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