Choices - We Live with what we choose
Ok, here I am, at home on a Monday morning blogging. Experienced a severe stomach acid build up culminating in some diagnosed form of heartburn, so am on MC today. Going to hit the sack after posting this entry to rest.
Was talking to a friend (J) last night, and some of the issues we talked about got me somewhat disappointed with the way things were handled. Sometimes, I really wonder, 8 whole years of friendship....all the thick and thin we've been through together, and yet J would not take the initiative to tell me the issues he's facing, unless I prod him. Guess it's not his nature to be forthcoming and forthright. Yet, more often than not, I find myself weary of having to prod. Although I was not angry, try as I might, I could not mask the acute disappointment in my voice.
I prayed it through and I daresay I am ok now. I cannot keep helping him, so I've reconciled myself to that. My own strength is limited. My pastor and another church sister did mention I am taking on too many burdens, burdens that aren't mine to shoulder. At that time, I dismissed it as J was facing a major huddle. But now that I ruminate and chew on it, I have come to realise they are right after all. By taking on burdens that aren't mine to shoulder, this has really sapped me of my strength. Yet, sometimes, I am wont to muse, aren't friends supposed to do this and be the pillar of support? In retrospect, I have been the pillar of support once too often. Sometimes, it might really be better to let him trip and fall, and learn on his own, rather than trying to shield your own good friend. In context, this does not really aid in his maturity.
I have come to this realisation and it has 'liberated' me in many ways, so I am totally cool with it. It has always been said that life is always about making choices.Whatever choices we decide on, it's really up to us to suffer the consequences and repercussions of the choice made. In any case, I know one thing for certain. In Him I trust, and as long as God is in the core of my life, I will be able to walk through my choices with Him. Blind faith? Maybe. But sometimes, amidst the scheme of things in this chaotic world, He is the one pillar of support that is always unwavering and can always be counted on. I seek comfort in that, at the end of it all, I will have walked through an enriching life by virtue of the fact that I walk with Him, and whatever choices I make, He is there for me. Somehow, this makes life a whole lot easier, no?
Was talking to a friend (J) last night, and some of the issues we talked about got me somewhat disappointed with the way things were handled. Sometimes, I really wonder, 8 whole years of friendship....all the thick and thin we've been through together, and yet J would not take the initiative to tell me the issues he's facing, unless I prod him. Guess it's not his nature to be forthcoming and forthright. Yet, more often than not, I find myself weary of having to prod. Although I was not angry, try as I might, I could not mask the acute disappointment in my voice.
I prayed it through and I daresay I am ok now. I cannot keep helping him, so I've reconciled myself to that. My own strength is limited. My pastor and another church sister did mention I am taking on too many burdens, burdens that aren't mine to shoulder. At that time, I dismissed it as J was facing a major huddle. But now that I ruminate and chew on it, I have come to realise they are right after all. By taking on burdens that aren't mine to shoulder, this has really sapped me of my strength. Yet, sometimes, I am wont to muse, aren't friends supposed to do this and be the pillar of support? In retrospect, I have been the pillar of support once too often. Sometimes, it might really be better to let him trip and fall, and learn on his own, rather than trying to shield your own good friend. In context, this does not really aid in his maturity.
I have come to this realisation and it has 'liberated' me in many ways, so I am totally cool with it. It has always been said that life is always about making choices.Whatever choices we decide on, it's really up to us to suffer the consequences and repercussions of the choice made. In any case, I know one thing for certain. In Him I trust, and as long as God is in the core of my life, I will be able to walk through my choices with Him. Blind faith? Maybe. But sometimes, amidst the scheme of things in this chaotic world, He is the one pillar of support that is always unwavering and can always be counted on. I seek comfort in that, at the end of it all, I will have walked through an enriching life by virtue of the fact that I walk with Him, and whatever choices I make, He is there for me. Somehow, this makes life a whole lot easier, no?
posted by DeRi@c | 11:50 am
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